Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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