Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
