I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
