is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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