Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
