Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
