Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
