By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
