A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
