it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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