life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
