as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
