i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
there's paper in my vomit.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
