is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
