i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
