Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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