I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
