Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
