He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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