I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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