i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
