this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
