ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I am mentally ready for anal.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
