So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
