im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
