i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
She bit a glass in half.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
