We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
nutella sex= disaster
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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