Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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