Why are handjobs necessary in class?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
