he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize
