Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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