I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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