he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
