All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
