Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
