So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
