you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
