I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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