I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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