just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
