I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
