Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
