I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
