You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
