It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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