Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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