He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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