he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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