He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
