I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
