hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
