it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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