I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
