420 ftw
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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