so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
