Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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