idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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