btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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