Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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