Hey man sorry I got all grabby
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
